I'm leaving the locker room at the gym a few mornings ago. Simple banter ensues.
"You done?" he says to me. Yep. "Time to get after it" I say.
From there the conversation developed into schedule, pacing, and pressure. I had shared that I had finished a big project. It was months of hard work and I was enjoying a later start to the work day with some longer runs.
He then opened up, "I stayed late for years. Back at my desk by 5:45 am. Never felt like I could do anything else but make it about work. Then I retired and they had me replaced in days."
He continued, "I called my son last night at 9:30 pm. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was working. I tried to tell him to go home and be with his kids."
I could hear his PARTIAL truth. "I regret all I did and how easily I was replaced."
He doesn't know his FULL truth, "I thought if I did X, Y, and Z I would be hard to replace. I fear being easily replaced. That fear has driven me to insecurely pursue my mission in a false way. I chose for work to define my identity. As a result I also missed out in being a father and now my son is doing the same."
Or something like that.
This isn't about summing up people. Each human is unique. I freaking love that uniqueness.
It is about unblocking a pattern:
1. When your mind processes what is happening to you and you're not just blindly playing along to a false narrative only then will you grasp truth. It is painful as proving and hiding become clear. It's why I shared an article on twitter earlier today from Harvard Business that states introspection is usually done incorrectly. You make up reasons to keep your false narrative intact.
2. When you grasp truth and dig really deep you find out who you really are and who you really can be. Then you speak and live and fulfill your roles/mission from a place of a solid core. You don't make up false reasons. You see the truth of proving and hiding. Change begins with noticing!
3. Maturity is achieved and received. You're a person of truth. Your truth. But you'll lose that maturity. Life is dynamic and threatens the integrity of who we are, often. Maturity is then achieved and received, continually. Again and again. It's not immaturity to lose your solid internal ground. It's immaturity to not recognize it is lost and then step back into it. You keep going back to the center of who you are. You like being you even if you don't like all your responses and circumstances. You keep upgrading.
Nothing is more important in your life than finding your truth and living it.
There are people who have dedicated their lives to helping others do that. In different ways and expressions from people thousands of years ago to the last 40 years I'm kinda obsessed with reading and studying their thoughts.
More than that I'm absolutely obsessed with showing (which is better than telling) others how to find their truth and live it.