This is the sound of our times.
For some it brings despair. Frantically they wonder who they can trust as their idol crashes.
For some it brings delight. Sadistically they enjoy seeing people being taken down a notch.
We are in an era of great change. Society will move forward. Even if it takes a couple steps backward.
You can recognize an era of great change when old paradigms that no longer serve society come crashing down.
The sound you hear on the news all the time is the sound of the pedestals crashing.
The pedestals need to crash. You'll never learn who you are fully until no idol blocks the expression of who you are into your mission as you build your community.
There is no one you know, admire, or respect that has it all together.
There is some area in their life where they aren’t making great decisions.
Or they are doing right things for wrong reasons.
Live long enough and every pedestal you construct will crash down.
The higher you build the pedestal the greater your disillusionment.
You have to smash your pedestals.
And if you're a leader then it's your responsibility to smash your pedestal and inspire the people you lead. Yeah, I recognize it's a paradox.
How do you navigate this tension?
Give people your best self. Inspire them.
Share where you've struggled. Relax them.
There's more practical advice on this in a previous book I've written (www.theriderbook.com) but last night I needed to topple my own pedestal. I find I have to do it often.
Last night I had to smash a pedestal.
Last night was an amazing experience. The Wild Path helped me throw an epic book launch party. But it was completely different than any book launch party I'd ever heard of. They had the idea to invite artists to create pieces around passages from my new book www.thestuckbook.com. They did such a fantastic job. And it was so cool to have my own daughter create a piece. Which of course I told everyone there, "Do not buy her painting because I am!" Also while Columbus is a small part of my business (but I hope it continues to grow here!) it was so FUN to introduce my wife and daughters to some of the wonderful folks SightShift serves in this amazing city. It was a powerful experience of community for me.
As I was preparing to share a little bit one idea struck me with so much force. My life is full of so many people who have been absolutely amazing to me. I've had plenty of experiences with other kinds of people too. I've been cheated, yelled at, publicly torn down, etc. etc. If you lead in the public eye things will happen. But I've also had COUNTLESS, FREAKING COUNTLESS moment after moment of people being awesome. The idea that struck me so forcefully was that up until the last few days I've had this conviction that I have to pay everyone back. As I prepared to share with friends last night I realized: I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PAY EVERYONE BACK. I can't do it. Insecure Chris wants to put his head on his pillow thinking he doesn't owe anyone. Insecure Chris wants to know that everyone who's ever done something for him is paid back. Falsely I've believed that I can only feel good when I've earned my worth by performing for the favor. Secure Chris knows it's a gift to receive. That's the point. The point isn't to pay everyone back but keep paying it forward.
The pedestals aren't done crashing. Insecure leadership needs to be vanquished. Secure leadership needs to be defined so clearly that the insecure can't get away with it any longer. But in the rubble of the broken pedestals let's keep helping people figure out who they are.
If you haven't done so yet then grab a copy of my newest book the stuck book at www.thestuckbook.com. Smash your own pedestal and look honestly at any place you might be a stuck. Then review it on Amazon so I can build a pedestal and smash it down again. Hahaha.
A free resource to help you.
This month's podcast for those in the leadership coaching covered this. Here's an itunes link if you want to listen how to stop being a camel to the pedestal of others: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pursuit-bike-wrecks-and-car-wrecks-skill-11-of-a-leader/id964970402?i=1000391697308&mt=2
No one else is responsible to get you to the edge of your abilities except you.
No one else has the privilege to help you become your best self each day.
In the next week or two I'll be opening up the sign ups for my 12 month leadership coaching. Last year filled up. You can only join if you've been through the identity coaching first.
(secret link buried at the end: www.nomorerobotkingdoms.com if you want to learn the process insecure leaders use to build and reinforce a false pedestal)